Driving dads into despair – fears family law change will hurt kids
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Editor Comment: I’d like to commend Warwick Marsh for finally getting another perspective on these proposed family law changes out via the media, as per the below article.
Perjury to be legalized in Family CourtÂ
It is a hard to get any media outlet to publish anything these days that is not consistent with the feminist mandated view that separated men are all violent, women are all pre-disposed victims, and children should ‘naturally’ reside with their mothers after separation.
These are of course out-dated concepts that have no place in a progressive society, but are notions that are ironically championed by modern feminist groups, who have apparently concluded that equality may not be such a good idea after all.
With regard to these changes and contrary to what this article seems to suggest, the government’s own review of this legislation (the AIFS review), which interviewed over 27,000 parents, found NO need for any legislative change, and more importantly NO risk of abuse or violence to women or children as a result of the 2006 amendments. This fact seems to be conveniently ignored the Attorney General Robert McLelland, which may explain why he asked Richard Chishom, the ex Juge and ex Family law lawyer who became a millionaire on the back  of divorced parents, to write a new report.
The Attorney-General was well aware that Chisholm had previously gone on the record and co-authored opinions against the concept of shared parenting. Â Obviously the Attorney General was unhappy with the conclusions of the independent review, and wanted a sure thing this time.
As certain as day follows night, this report was expected to condemn shared parenting, showing Attorney-General Robert McLelland at his unethical best.
All in all, one needs to remember what these family law changes really mean in basic terms. By looking at the 4 pillars of the new family law changes, one is immediately drawn by the obvious question “who are these changes really attempting to serve?”.
I do not think the answer is “children”.
The proposed major changes to the Family Law act
(1) False allegations of Child Abuse: False allegations of abuse, specifically domestic violence and child abuse, are to have no legal repercussions. Lying in Court, even if it results in disastrous emotional turmoil for the child or the other parent, and even if it resulted in hundreds of hours of wasted investigation by child protection officers, will not be punishable, not even incurring a bill for wasted use of services, and not even a small symbolic fine. Given human nature as it is, if it is not punishable, then more parents will LIE in Court.
(2) Even a Sneeze can be considered Domestic Violence: The definition of Domestic Violence is to be radically watered down, where almost any conceivable behaviour, even a sneeze, could be considered domestic violence.
(3) Parental Alienation is to be legalised and rewarded: The friendly parent provision to be removed, effectively endorsing and rewarding parents who brain-wash their children into hating the other parent.
(4) Presumption of Guilt against Fathers: The lowering of the standard of proof, effectivey embedding a presumption of guilt against most fathers, a presumption that would often be impossible to disprove categorically given the nature and time constraints of most of these cases.
Related Article:
Top 10 myths about Shared Parenting (Child Custody laws) in Australia
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CHANGES to the Family Law Act will lead to a rise in the number of children at risk of being killed or injured by their parents, fathers groups claimed yesterday.
Opponents of the proposed amendments argue that, since legislation promoting shared parenting was introduced in 2006, the rate of child homicides by parents in NSW has more than halved.
NSW Child Death Team annual reports show that, in 2005, 10 children were killed by parents or carers and that by 2009 that figure had dropped to four.
While the amendment, currently before a Senate inquiry, retains the emphasis on shared parenting from 2006, it removes the ability of courts to penalise parents for making claims of domestic violence against their ex-partner which later prove to be false.
Warwick Marsh, from the Fatherhood Foundation, fears that the changes will undermine the relationship between separated fathers and their children and risk reversing this downward trend.
“The reality is this amendment is a winding back of the shared parenting legislation under the guise of protecting children from violence when the child homicide figures actually show that the reverse is true,” Mr Marsh said.
“Since the shared parenting changes in 2006 children have been at less risk of violence than ever before.”
The Federal Government introduced the 2011 amendments after three inquiries found the Act did not provide enough protection to victims of domestic violence.
The amendments were also in response to concerns raised by women’s groups, academics, the Family Law Council and the Australian Institute of Family Studies.
Mr Marsh claims the changes would lead to vexatious claims being made against innocent fathers by bitter ex-partners trying to sabotage their relationship with their children, despite the court’s emphasis on shared parenting.
This point of view is supported by several fathers groups who have made submissions.
Domestic violence support groups back the changes, saying women and children who escape abusive households need to be able to speak about domestic violence without fear of punishment.
Federal Attorney-General Robert McClelland said the Bill had the support of the wider community, with the majority of submissions lodged supporting the changes.
Letitia Rowlands
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Don’t be fooled and stop misleading others. Perjury is not being made legal at all. It can still be prosecuted and have findings made as to its happening and nameing of the purjurer. All that is difficult is to get a panalty imposed ujpon them. The amendmentst may well be and shoudl be tested as being unconstitutional becaue perjury is a ‘crime’ as much against The Commonwealth in family law and family court matters as it is against the citizen or other citizens of the family.
It is your perogative to take ‘perjury’ as a consequential and seperate application to a court and if you don’t then nothing happens because it is your responsibilty to pursue it. It is not the judges or magistrates role as most think it is. If you know perjury has occurred and do nothing you are your own enemy by allowing it and that is the only thing that makes perjury ‘lawful’. Your agreement with it by doing nothing about it./
However legally by proving it occuring in your case you can get a retrial with the ‘perjury’ being struck out very likely bring you a win in place of a loss.
Robert E Kennedy Cooridinator
NT Office Status of Family phone 08 8932 3339
[Reply]
Ian Mack Reply:
February 3rd, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Mr Kennedy, you say “Perjury is not being made legal at all. It can still be prosecuted and have findings made as to its happening and naming of the perjurer.”
When I sought to file complaints with the Australian Federal Police (AFP) in the State (VIC) the offences occurred in, pursuant to s.35 (giving false testimony (perjury)) and s.36 (fabricating evidence (subsidiary of perjury) of the Crimes Act 1914 (Cth), I was instructed by the AFP only the judge of the matter could seek they investigate those complaints.
When I sought to sight the mother for “Contempt in the Face of the Court”, pursuant to s.112AP of the Family Law Act 1975 (the Act), for making false statements in Contempt of an Oath or Affirmation a witness has given to the Court, Bryant CJ claimed I needed to place the proper evidence (required to be subpoenaed in a matter a demand for “Leave to file” had been made for the matter to start) in the dishonourable judges hands before she would grant “Leave” and that must be done in less than 2 years in defiance of s.15B of the Crimes Act 1914.
Hence I agree with what you say “All that is difficult is to get a penalty imposed upon them.” But not in the direction you mean of “Proof Beyond Doubt”.
Judges make wrongful claims of a lack of proof, or wrongful claim of power to make a statute of time limitations in defiance of s.15B of the Crimes Act 1914, to provide a mother with a benefit of protection from prosecution and penalty.
Look at the matter the dishonourable Bryant CJ relied on in the “Family Court Bulletin” Issue 3 December 2008, matter of LGM and CAM – Contempt.
Note the Appeals Division demonstrates the Courts intent to grant mother’s immunity from prosecution by wrongful claim the mother did not know the Courts Orders existed in defiance of the TRUTH.
This cost that father a large sum of money, to cause the High Court to admit the TRUTH, evidence the mother had sought a copy of the Courts Orders existed, therefore, did know and was guilty of Contempt.
What is the purpose of anyone including a judge or other Queens Instrument giving an Oath or Affirmation when the Queens Instruments (judges and registrars) wilfully act in (Contempt) defiance of a Law of the Commonwealth Parliament and their Oath or Affirmation of Office, as if they have the power to turn a law off and on at their whim?
I have the HC Transcript (in the hands of Cronin J by a matter in his hands) admitting the dishonourable Bryant CJ claimed Mushin J is immune from prosecution for misbehaviours (within the meaning of s.22 of the Act) committed in Contempt of Mushin J’s Oath or Affirmation of Office pursuant to s,26 of the Act.
In this HC Transcript (in the hands of Cronin J by a matter in his hands) the Appeals Division claim in defiance of clause 5 of the Constitution, it is not applicable to judges.
With judges setting the example of being able to commit Wrongful misbehaviours in Contempt of their Oath or Affirmation of Office pursuant to s,26 of the Act, what are lawyers and the people whose Court the judges take the bench at to think?
If judges can commit perjury, breaches of the Law, and get away with it (granted immunity), why can’t the people?
[Reply]
There is no constitutional or legal or other reason why women should not be treated as equally as men as feminists have so long sought. It is about ‘citizen’ equality that encompases gender or race or religious equality an it and should not be any different when it comes to women comitting crimes that they are treated equally in punishments. Now where have all of the feminist gone to? Hypocrites they are only interested in their perpetual gender war against men. Mainly out of Government Service Deliveires including police and courts who fail their impariality duties to favour women over men thereby converting one law into two unlawfully.
It is in Government Administration and not The Legislature that folks must take most actions to recover our democracy from this ‘insurgent’s’ clutches. Take my advice of almost two decases campaigning for the equality of fathers and men as it is supposed to be out of The Legislature.
In most of these cases and comments there are glaring cases of perjury and ‘abuse of office’ and ‘mandamus’ etc of ADMINISTRAITIVE LAW just waiting to be prosecuted in parallel or post to fathers losing thier cases in these ‘unlawful’ way. But it will not be until blokes get some guts and take on these lawbreakers outside of their own narrominded case that there will be ‘restoration’ of our democracy.
Robert E Kennedy
[Reply]
Ian Mack Reply:
February 3rd, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Mr Kennedy, I agree with your words:
“In most of these cases and comments there are glaring cases of perjury and ‘abuse of office’ and ‘mandamus’ etc of ADMINISTRAITIVE LAW just waiting to be prosecuted in parallel or post to fathers losing their cases in these ‘unlawful’ way. But it will not be until blokes get some guts and take on these lawbreakers outside of their own narrow minded case that there will be ‘restoration’ of our democracy.”
Have you ever tried to file a “mandamus”, “prohibition” or “certiorari” pursuant to s.34 of the Family Law Act 1975 (the Act) in the Family Court, Appeals Division of the Family Court or the High Court (HC)?
These 3 Courts make wrongful claim s.39B(1EA) of the Judiciary Act 1903 defeats s.34 Writs in the Family and Appeals Division except if a “Nation Security Information Issue” is within the matter the Writ is sought in.
The TRUTH is: s.39B(1EA) of the Judiciary Act 1903 simple confines the hearing of a “Nation Security Information Issue” to the Court it was first heard in and not be transferred to the Federal Court.
Add to this insult of abuse of power in breach of s.142.2 of the Criminal Code 1995 (Cth), the Contempt of an Oath or Affirmation of Office by doing a wrong at law, and the “Demand for Leave to File” a Writ Application in the High Court because it is “VEXATIOUS” to seek or cause “Proved judicial Misbehaviour” pursuant to s.22 of the Act in the HC.
The demand for leave is to allow a HC judge an opportunity to make false claim to seek a Writ for a matter an appeal has been dismissed (that never occurred) for, is an “abuse of process” this is of course in defiance of 25.06.2 of the HC Rules.
Just ask Hayne, Crennan and Kiefel JJ of the High Court. It seems they are taking charge of the dismissal without hearing of the Writ Applications citing the judges of the Family Court.
Furthermore, if the demand for “Leave to File” is citied as a breach of s75(v) of the Constitution, thereby requires s.78B of the Judiciary Act 1903 (s.78B), Constitutional Notice to be alive, Kiefel J in defiance of s.78B will hear and determine that matter in breach of s.78B(1) and s.142.2 of the Criminal Code 1995 (Cth) to cause a detriment to the applicant by wrongful denial of a course of justice created by the Laws of the Commonwealth Parliament and the Constitution.
Moreover, Hayne, Crennan and Kiefel JJ of the High Court perversions of justice were done by abuse of their power to provide Mushin J and Bryant CJ with protection or immunity from matters that would cause “Proved judicial Misbehaviours” pursuant to s.72(ii) of the Constitution bestowed on Mushin J and Bryant CJ by s.22 of the Act (HC transcripts or “Reasons for Judgement” available).
With such examples of criminal misbehaviour will be immune from prosecution, why should woman and solicitors or lawyers not believe they will also be granted immunity by protection from prosecution for their crimes committed in the Court or in the Face of the Court?
[Reply]
I used to be good at punctuation. Please forgive my continual thought in my post, and my lack of punctuation in expressing it. Here goes.
Thanks Zac, Yeah thats what i did say mate, Not in those words that you wrote but the same message, I just said I’d have to see how it went first your honor, but i said that in a way that was telling the judge if it didn’t go in the right way, that not being my way, or the ex’s way, but the childrens way, I would want to fight, but if he was crooked about it all I think I would have given up, because in my mind at that point and after all the crookedness and the sadness and despair caused by the court and the crooked lawyers, it would be them causing more despair if it didn’t go the right way, so it wouldn’t be me, which was what he was trying to engineer as his ultimatum to trap me with, which I suppose isn’t exactly what you said, but feels pretty similar, I just thought you shifty so and so, to me it was a situational and conditional game, the judge could have been looking for me to go whatever the result, ill fight if its not right for my kids, which was how i was actually feeling, and then use that to summarize and kill me, I,m still troubled about this, it made me feel like a bad dad, i know that much, now that im more mature and less worried about a shifty judge, i now think and feel i should have just said what i was truly thinking, ill have to keep fighting your honor, but three or four years of hell and the fact my kids had just drifted so much away,and been infected, the judges shiftiness, all of them, except one who died and one they get rid of that they saw i had an instant repall with, and my youth led me to think on his lines, and not just my own, for what was right for my kids regardless, I was also in a mind that if he did say no, all his mates would back him up from there, I just wonder how it all sat in his heart, I really need him to just be honest to me, and with me, about where he was at, but I guess hell take that to his grave, and ill never know the real truth, a bit About it all, the journey, The guy on the door came up and hugged me after my address to the court and said hes never heard such a good address to the court, I gave them a fourteen page family restoration plan that i thought of, in an attempt to give the court some confidence that this plan could work, I asked Christine (like) Assange for support for joint custody, i think her name was, similar, I cant remember her surname but she was pretty much the first woman to do something like that in the early 90s, and who had formed a mens support thing, to fight for fathers, but was still in her infancy or mentality stage, but very passionate and sincere,( the angry women’s influence mentality mostly, not so much hers, she was still growing,) that joint custody didn’t work, which was still current thinking at the time, in spite of her aims to support fathers, five or six years later someone put her onto me to support her for joint parenting(by then), I spoke to her, and said remember me, “oh John”she exclaimed she apologized and said, she didn’t realize at the time, but that she did now, and was really sorry,anyway she was a good woman and i think she’s still fighting for fathers. I whipped Caroline Counsel to death in a phone conversation/debate about joint custody and its merits, on 3aw or 3lo radio in Melbourne, that the guy on the radio was wrapped about, she was speechless basically, and all these people who heard it said it was fantastic, not long after my plan, they came up with a parenting plan that looked very similar to my family restoration plan, I got the first judge to go against refuge policy and their rules, I got a sign taken down in the foyer of the court that said we support the judges and lawyers but nothing about the people they’re actually their to support, the parents and the children, I got them to let me use the judges library, there were 27 counselors in the court at the time 24 were feminized and angry, two blokes one far too old, and a homosexual one who was really a female and strangely feminized, and one real one, the head counselor who could see what was happening straight away, and was so disgusted in what she could see was clearly unfair and wrong and which she couldn’t report on, thats how they worked it, don’t know if they still do, she left the court a few months later in disgust and now works privately, one of the high up dudes in there told me that, in the end it was almost a war between me and them, with my kids stuck in the middle, trouble was and still is when somethings morally wrong and especially involving my kids and family there’s like three Winston Churchill’s in me,I think all Aussies have got a bit of Winston in them, I just got a good dose,still all in the past now, mustn’t grumble, gotta get on with life leave the shit behind and all that, now i just feel sorry for all those people,I had a similar thing happen with my dad and my kids as you, i cant really even talk about it because its too sad, and i don’t want to dirty or mess with any memories, but i can understand the despair you would be feeling and have felt,The ladies and me, well thats another story, but i have had a go at love again, trouble with me is im a Marcy playground kind of guy, and unfortunately two of them, and then the one I had, and had left the playground with, and didn’t see the love i had, got away, or i pushed her away really, anyway im still a bit insecure about it all and i was so sure i was good enough and ready, who knows, you never know, but i know until i can feel some safety, and distance from mental health and psychiatry, I know im not going there, and i think we all know when your feeling too disturbed its like a repellant to a woman, and so it should be, nothing better than love though hey,I hope you can have and hold that love forever Zac, and i wish you happiness and success for the future,I reckon you deserve it mate,im starting to get there, im 56 now but never say never hey, I can really identify with your journey in all aspects, my stories your story as is all our stories pretty much, all about unadulterated Love and our childrens need for that and our guidance and care, And We Love them. Happy Christmas and have a safe and good 2012. John
[Reply]
here ya go check this story out (We always judge without fear or favor ) the link http://www.heraldsun.com.au/opinion/we-always-judge-without-fear-or-favour/story-e6frfhqf-1226218995231 im sure we all might need or would like to say something here, mind you its main stream so not likely to put it in, still worth a go, John
[Reply]
Before I start, I’m sorry about my punctuation and my running sentences, i used to be in order back in the day when things weren’t so wrong or hadn’t gone so wrong.I hope you can understand what im saying.
Id like to know how many fatherless children grow up and have substance abuse issues in comparison to fathered children, and then id like to know the same thing about how many are captured by mental health tagged and poisoned for emotional psychological problems, behaviors, that psychiatry calls either, bipolar, schitzoeffective which covers anything they want to imagine with an effect whatever they imagine that effect to be, or a depression, anyway guys I’m a Dad who is now 20 years down track from the Family court, and I can tell you that the anger from that, tends to get into you, and not let go, it effects every aspect of your life, in every way, your language changes, because your feelings have been angered for so long, we all know how long it takes, two years is quick, mine took three, in the end the judge couldn’t really find anything to say to give custody to the ex that he could hold his head up as correct or against either party, so he asked me a trick question in a court room filled with angry hurt women, lawyers included, the question was if I don’t give you joint custody today, will you come back and litigate, in my mind i knew he was asking me a tricky shifty question, and i thought at the time if i said yes he would say I was going to put my family through this ordeal again even though i wasn’t the thief, and if i said no he would say i wasn’t fairdinkum, so i said im not sure your honor id have to see how it goes first, remember i was put on the spot and i was going from a judge who slept most of the hearing (two days) and looked like it, and i was youngish, plus the woman sitting in front of him,under the main bench, the court attendant in this case, read a woman’s weekly whilst the hearing was going on as well, the same judge stopped me short of finishing my summary speech to the court, with half a page to go, , full of so much passion that i was vibrating, and never wanting to go back there, half a page to go,the big finish with the passion, he took the sting out of it by shutting me down and in such a rude way, it hurt so much and he knew it, anyway my thinking was that if i said id have to wait and see he’d be stumped on his trick question, but my thinking wasn’t realizing he could do the same thing for not being sure as he could for if i wouldn’t come back and continue the fight, the vibe was that if i did, id be continuing what had destroyed everybody even though it was entirely the courts fault and the thief’s they were letting steal, I loved the thief in spite of everything and i didn’t want the person i still loved being filled with guilt created by the court, and i didn’t want my children to be insecure and full of any of their anger and theft feeling, which i knew was going to destroy my ex eventually if the theft was allowed, it was already destroying her, but the feminists angry women kept reassuring her to continue, even though she had written and said in amongst all this, after three weeks and unbeknown to her solicitor lets have joint custody,im sorry for what Ive done, she had recognized that it was all wrong, but the solicitor told her to forget that and keep fighting, the solicitor told me i certainly wont be advising my client to do that, when i rang them(only because i had just received a threatening letter from the solicitor just after id got the letter from my ex) to say my ex had written and i read it to her, yes naughty me, i might have had the sound of victory in my voice, but the butch solicitor denied saying that to me, it was such a horrible situation, anyway suffice to say the judge did the dodge,the expected, we had a million dollar home, today’s money, all gone now, drunk up in guilt and insecurity, children messed with by alcoholic predators who know an angry ex just needs to hear bastard ex words to win them over, etc, now mental health is my new fight, at the time i thought the family court was the most and worst lot of tyrant people, but i can tell you they fade into very little in contrast to mental health and their poisonous sick finding and seeing ways, if you reckon the court is sick try mental health, and i can only say to you all, that regardless of fighting for right and wrong, the unfettered or unaffected, as opposed to the war affected love of your children, to and from, the insecurity, the roof over both parents heads for their children, all those things we fought for and in so many cases, and are still fighting for, I know that what makes A FATHER FIGHT IS HIS FEAR FOR HIS CHILDREN’S WELL BEING before anything else, i know thats what drove my fight, it always appears to be something else though when there is all the anger involved for the entire marriage being put before a court to judge one of them out, because of a winner loser fixation held by the court, lets find someone to blame mentality, when both parties are usually to blame, both have lost, failed, but can now both win from the lesson, from the separating of their contrasting issues of care, the immaturity of both, and all that entails in their different characters, and personalities,the stuff they’ve both got for the rest of their lives to reflect upon, to understand, to forgive, that takes a lot of time, years, but the court wants it now, when now is the fight about all the years of wrongs, disputes, and that will always turn ugly because it is, it was in so many ways, all our disagreements, all our fights, all our differences, focused on in a time of anger, its time that heals, I now know that I should have been more mature, and been the man I should have been, the man that coped better in those difficult times, when neither party was going to bend, pride filled purpose gets in the way, our own sense of care, the importance, and what that is, can get in the way of what that is to the mothers sense of care, and what she sees as important, and right, we forget about the senses of the mother, the person we loved for good and bad, in our own desperate bid to steer and care for our offspring, we undermined one another, im sorry now, took a long time to unfocus on her wrongs, living and breathing in my heart and mind, and see my own, and just be sorry for my part, her part is in her and for her to learn in her time, no one can headbutt that into people, no one should be made to see it all as the deciding factor in finding fault to a winner and a loser, it takes two to tango, it takes two to make it work also, the blame game is so immature and damaging, by all, more so the court because they are supposed to be the wise people, but they’re parasites and gigs looking or acting for profit dressed up as something else, basically, being gigs makes them a lot of money, thats busy bodies for those that don’t know what a gig is, small minded people, who have a need, they pretend they don’t, to look at everyone’s dirty linen, which we’ve all got, most people are good people in their hearts and deep down they just want what they believe is right, we all know that, so why the assassination and the bad focus? the growing up mistakes that we all have, more than often blown up from the list we all have in our minds somewhere from unresolved issues either in our pre marriage lives or in our marriage lives, all brought about in the end as the total of, to be used to hurt one or the other of in a court full of gigs looking to kill one of them in order to be seen as doing the right thing by the children, a sick system run by sick greedy unconscionable people, people who have to know, they are stirring the pot of discontent, when thats the last thing to be doing, when the children and their connection to and with both parents who have fallen apart, needs to be maintained more than anything so they don’t get mixed up in a war between feuding parents created by their immaturity and a court and a thief for profit, or gain, to me they aren’t judges and lawyers they are thief’s and of a very low order, bad form people, but nothing compared to mental health and psychiatry, these people incarcerate, bash, rape, poison, and electrocute immature troubled kids in the process of growing up, making mistakes that most of us made growing up, the trouble is our kids, the fatherless ones, and the court damaged, have behaviors they have developed that we haven’t been able to stop or change as part time losing dads, without any real authority, stolen by the judiciary for an angry ex, and placed in dangerous environments with predators lined up, drunks and druggies, all ready to pounce on vulnerable separated women with beutifull daughters, anyway fellas and ladies please keep the love in the guidance, keep the strength, what you can remember at least at the forefront of what you need to do as a parent, keep your kids safe the very best you can, if they are in bad environments don’t just feel like a loser like i did, and stop being the carer you would be if you weren’t so weakened, you have to stay strong, make it right everyday no matter how many male predators you have to fight or deal with, because im tellin ya, if you don’t do enough, your kids will end up drinking too early and taking drugs and with all the crap from the court, and the deviots hanging around, they are going to have emotional psychological problems that mental health call mental illness, and if you think the family court is imposing itself, you’ve got no idea, just whatever you do try and stop any anger and just be your better self, i know easier said than done when the court has let that anger be alive for so long by keeping your children away from your unaffected care and guiding words, the breakdown of their behaviors and attitudes, but you’ve just got to break away from the anger and despair you feel somehow, someway, because it hurts everybody so much, and that makes more insecurity and in the end your kids will be the ones trying to escape all that with alcohol and drugs, alcohol makes them bury everything they need to understand, and drugs then put all that under a microscope that they cant handle or cope with because of the alcohol,then the drugs, and the insecurity they have from the breakdown, its always an emotional psychological issue and a maturity issue, just like the family court, but the difference is that poison and psychiatry go hand in hand, the poison instead of an ear and a steer, blocks out and mirrors insanity and despair because there is insanity in the poison, and despair in the never ending last thing needed, injected poison,and there is no escape from the poisoner who sees mental illness wherever he or she looks, they add drugs to temporary drug effected kids who just need the drug in their body causing them drug psychosis to eliminate from their bodies and the effect on their mind, where sleep and vitamins are the cure and the waylaying of drug induced thought, just like a drunk needs sleep to sober up, so does a drug effected person, but these people add hallucinogens within the first 48 hours, and it wont be you taking them to the bin, and once there there thats it, they will be a prisoner of mental unhealth for the rest of their lives, when it was a temporary drug effect, and circumstances that got there from a simple theft in the family court, sorry theft is stealing anything from someone, whether its love, goods, or time, or sanity, theft is theft, it hurts not only the person victim, but the thief themselves, its what lives in your heart and comes back to haunt you in your memories, people don’t realize what theft does to them personally, let alone what it does to the victim and all their close family and friends,until they start to see it and feel it, and that happens more and more as you age and as we generally become better more evolved and aware people, so just don’t be too busy looking and reflecting on the war, when mental health are just beside you ready to pounce on your kids, and if you don’t see them they will make what your worried about now, nothing in comparison.I know thats a big statement but i also know its true. John
[Reply]
zac Reply:
December 11th, 2011 at 1:53 pm
John, A lot of people share your pain and your thoughts.
If you had time to consider and answer the judge’s question you (I) might have said, “I will listen to your considered, professional judgement and then I will judge, on my child(ren)’s behalf, whether that (court) judgement is in the best interests of MY child(ren)- as the legal guardian of my child(ren) Or whether your judgement (for sole custody to the mother for example) is worthy of urgent appeal.
You are so right about the theft (of childhood & innocense more than anything) and the mental health problems.My older daughter selfharmed at 10 due to her mother’s perjurous(perverting justice) actions.
My wife kept secret the fact that she was seeing a psychiatrist for two years at the time that we met, only revealed in proceedings.
My ex-wife swallowed her mother’s poison about her estranged father from the age of 5 and my mother-in -law continued to attempt to give our two daughters the poison about their g’father between ages 6- 11.. I have three photos of my father-in-law (dec) in my home so that my daughters dont forget him (he served King, Queen and two countries for 43 years (3 of those starving in a Nazi stalag)…my daughters both remember his love that I proudly delivered his eulogy. I wont let them forget him. My ex-wife was/is profoundly jealous of my love of my daughters..to the point of telling authorities that our eldest feels that she was replacing her mother in my home, AFTER shared custody orders…as you say, SICK,SICK,SICK.
And John, there are times when you need to let the past go and find new love. At 50, i’ve just found the love of my life two years younger and wearing a size 8 dress. If you find something good, grab it with both hands…all the best to you.
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thanks Damo, I’m in NSW and obviously have a clever band of people making it hard for me, it would be nice for things to be black and white wouldn’t it eheheeee, oh well, like Malcolm said, life wasn’t meant to be easy !
I’m down to a what I feel is right against what I fear if I do what is right issue, your answer has given me some hope, and I appreciate it immensely.
I now have a blended Family of 9 kids, 2 of which are in this FLC system, 2 of which don’t live with us (they are 22), I became bankrupt due to an agreement by my ex gone wrong, and I didn’t know till it was too late, I have been surviving the legal battle with the thanks of legal aid and a bit of pro bono (hope the spell is right) and these Girls are at the old end of the FLC control. everything has been stretched to it’s limits by my ex, I know if I hang in there something will break and the Girls will be free of it, but I’m worried about what they have gone thru I dont know about and what will happen until then.
I have the courage to make them stay for the fear of harm to them and the courage to allow their requests to stay, SO LONG as they cant send me to gaol
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Craig Reply:
May 20th, 2011 at 12:09 am
I just want clarity on that issue, and I know I have the courage to follow through
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Damo Reply:
May 20th, 2011 at 3:35 pm
craig i left message at your haven email address for you
damo
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Craig Reply:
May 20th, 2011 at 5:03 pm
didnt get it damo try havenr64@live.com
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Damo Reply:
May 20th, 2011 at 6:34 pm
no worries mate tried to resend it now let me kno if you still dont get it but it should work this time.
Craig Reply:
May 22nd, 2011 at 2:41 am
still havent received it Damo, try, geez this site needs private message option, ahhh try looking me up on facebook, what the hell, even Kevin Rudd has started following my tweets so I suppose I’m not risking too much, Craig Havenaar facebook
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I work with Turkish people, they say our Family Law system sucks, just thought Ide throw that in there, eheheheee
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it has been suggested to me my ex might be bipolar, to me, if you spend your life digging deeper and deeper into your own lies, until you believe them, and you do everything you can to make sure they stick, it’s not bipolar………
Some maybe subject to that condition, but like many ADHD kids, its a label
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zac Reply:
May 10th, 2011 at 11:22 am
Narcisistic behaviour is more common in women that are alienating their children from fathers…bipolar is not always an excuse.
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Jacquie Reply:
May 11th, 2011 at 5:36 pm
I have just read the Family Report which was requested by the Family Law Court under the Magellan Program due to “False Allegations of Sexually Abuse & Violence” by the ex wife, seh acused him of doign this to all 3 children.
The women who wrote it spent 2 1/2 hours with my brother and much more time with the ex wife and the 3 children on the same day. She did not speak to the children individually (thought is was not necessary). The 2 oldest boys she told him “HATE HIM” my brother asked her “What has my ex wife been saying to my children this past year” the women never asked the question of the ex wife. WHY because she does not want to know the truth “LIES” are what matters and how good you are at it. This whole matter has had nothing to do with the children, it is a matter of a women wanting out of a marriage and grabing as much of the Assets as possible and gues what the Assets are dealt with first and teh chidlren second. GO FIGURE?
Her report was ” RUBBISH” it was one sided, desicrimatnatory against my brother, bigotted, unprofessional. irresponsible and dishonest. She had made up her mind before she even meet him.
She believed everything the ex wife said and nothing that he said.
The ex-wife would have only got 1/2 the Assets if she had asked for a divorce but by lying and adding False Sexual Allegations she got 70% of the Assets (and the Bank Account money she did not disclose) adn teh Court was not interested in that.
So I tell you MEN you and your children are in for a SHIT FIGHT from the greedy, emotionally disturb, abusive, cowardly, self fish, self absorb,lying WOMEN.
THE CHILDREN WILL SUFFER AND CONTINUE TO SUFFER FROM THIS ABUSE UNTIL THE FAMILY LAW COURT RECOGNISES THAT LIARS SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO GET AWAY SCOT FREE.
Australia’s $5Billion Divorce Economy will only get bigger and the ones who will suffer is and always will be “THE CHILDREN”.
What a joke our Family Law Court. They should remove the word “Family” it does not fit.
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Craig Reply:
May 13th, 2011 at 8:11 pm
I and many are going through what your Brother is, seek the media, get the story out there, it’s time we all told the truth so they know we are not afraid anymore !
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ian Reply:
May 19th, 2011 at 7:49 pm
Craig,
It’s not bi-polar. That’s an actual mental illness with associated behavours that are often beyond the control of the sufferer. If you have been subjected to behaivours of an ex that are controlling, manipulative, laced with lies that even contrdict other lies, a failure to see reason and a total lack of empathy for what their actions do to you, then your ex is a Sociopath.
Sociopaths, know their actions are wrong, but don’t care, so long as they personally are gratified by what they do. it is a deliberate thought process, NOT a mental illness and there are more of them out there than you know. They are con artists, fraudsters, serial cheaters, identity theives and bill defaulters.
Any of this sound more like your ex than Bi-Polar?
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Craig Reply:
May 19th, 2011 at 9:08 pm
Absolutely, but if bi polar suits the courts to assist me, well, who am I to argue?
I see their tears everytime they come stay with me, I’ll do anything to get them out of there other than illegal activities.
If I break court orders and allow them to stay I get a recovery order and jail threatened on me by the Magistrate, now a legal person has told me I must say I am choosing to keep them next time, but then I have to prove what DOCS and Police wont investigate.
So I don’t know who to believe. Can I be sent to Jail on the terms or reasons I fear child abuse? or do I argue that I sympathised with my Daughters and “allowed them to stay, because myself going to jail is not a good option for those Girls
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Craig Reply:
May 19th, 2011 at 9:35 pm
I went through life thinking Sociopaths were mass murderers, how niave i was, when It was initially suggested to me before you Ian, I was shocked, but a simple explanation like yours made it ever so clear to me.
For someone to be so cold, something had to happe to them, not condoning it by any stretch of the imagination, mind you.
Damo Reply:
May 19th, 2011 at 11:21 pm
Craig get some good legal advice on exactly what the term is but a few years before i gained full custody of my son a solicitor DID NOT TELL ME
about a thing loosely termed father with protective concerns overiding court orders .I dont know how well it is known but i did not return my son from access for over a week and kept state police informed of my whereabouts etc and he was only rerturned by after a lot of legal 2wing and froing.But it is something along those lines of acting in a protective manner or safety but a good solicitor could tell you about it.If you live in Victoria i can recomend someone to speak to who is top shelf
just reading your blog, Craig, protect your girls from what?
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Craig Reply:
May 9th, 2011 at 11:21 pm
Liam, like the Federal Magistrate said, I could write a book on it, but because the case isn’t finalised yet, and again for the Girls protection, I wont say it all on here, ive posted my email addy on here before, havenr64@live.com but be warned, my case isnt the worst nor is it good, nor is all of it proven….yet
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Craig Reply:
May 22nd, 2011 at 3:13 am
Never got a message from you Liam, I’m used to your type (anyone here can tell my I’m out of order here obviously) Liams approach, like on Mick Fox’s Facebook, to my understanding was to find a way to get evidence against me for the FLC, I get attacked on here, attacked on Mick Fox’s site, both of those people were deleted by the admin, not me them……. Now Liam, might not be part of that, but Liam Watchman might very well be leftinthedark@ (cant remember the rest, think it was hotmail or msn.com) who is a kind of boyfriend to my ex who stalks me on the internet and otherwise. He has printed off years of my facebook stuff to try to discredit me in the FLC for my Ex wife, he hasn’t had access to his kids for years and has been investigated no charges laid.
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Just checked out ” relevant ” s video link for youtube.
This guy should win an academy award for true life documentary.
I have never seen the truth put so well……..ever !!!
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No worries Jaise.
Mother has been diagnosed with paranoid personality disorder and has a long history with DHS regarding her,her daughter and my son.Sometimes not always a child is better of not having contact or at best limited supervised contact with a parent.
This is something i have learnt from experience not read in a book or learnt at uni.To say my son is thriving is an understatement.Never underestimate what stability, a loving home and family can achieve.
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dave aldridge. Reply:
May 9th, 2011 at 4:49 pm
Too right Damo, my own daughters mother has been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. Although it took me 3 years and many thousands of dollars [the mother, the abuser of course got all the free legal aid] eventually her mother was only given supervised access every second sunday and my daughter has not looked back since. I gained custody when she was 8 yo and have managed to take her from a half feral child in a class for SLOW children to last year having completed 3 years of a psychology degree at university before she was even 21yo achieving straight distinctions, doing honours this year and already talking about doing her PHD. Good on you for what you have been able to achieve for your child. Sometimes it is a fact that a child IS better off with the mother, but in many cases a child is better off with the father especially in todays society, unfortunately while society has moved on, our family court is still mired in outmoded ideas that being with mum is ALWAYS the first and best option.
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Damo Reply:
May 10th, 2011 at 3:06 am
Thanks for the pat on the back Dave and back at ya.
My son was a self harming child who bashed his head on concrete and slate tiled floors when told off GENTLY about his behaviour and had more than several massive temper tantrums resulting in self harming,punching me in the face and biting me while HORIZONTAL halfway up the laundry door ..It was so bad i had to wrap my legs around him on the floor and wrap my arms around him to stop him biting and punching himself.He would end up going to sleep in my arms with his hair dripping wet from sweat like he had got out of the shower without drying his hair.He was 4 years old at the time and these tantrums went on for an average of 45 minutes.Im 115 kg and dont fear much but seeing this happening to my son sent a chill up my spine.I had to spend 12 months at speech therapy to get him to the stage where he could speak like a normal 5 year old.There was also physio for his arm because his mum left him alone at home ( on one of many occassions ) and when he woke up he panicked and couldnt get out of the house so he broke a window and climbed out with his dog.Whe i pcked him up from hospital he had a big graze right near his jugular,7 stitches in his leg and plastic surgery to repair half severed muscle in his wrist.A nurse reportedly heard his mother slap him accross the face in hospital and blame him for his injuries.Flash forward to now he has a green belt in karate is in his 5th year of Auskick and now club football and has 5 years of Milo and club cricket under his belt.He is great kid full of love and happiness and enthusiasm for life with wisdom beyond his years.I couldnt be prouder of him !!
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Just a note to all the men who are genuine out there who can put their kids first even before themselves.
I have had full custody of my son since he was 4 years old and have had to spend the last 5 1/2 years in court to protect him from unsupervised access from both the mother and half sister.Since april 2010 i have also had full parental resposibility and final orders on the mothers access.I picked my son up from hospital in november 2005 and he has been living with me ever since.The mother has 4 supervised accesses a year which she has refused to attend because ” it hurts her to much to see him so little and supervised “so he now doesnt see her at all.She is now behind the half sisters application in court for unsupervised access.The half sister is just as bad as the mother but with more rat cunning.So on and on it goes.To cut a long story short it takes a real genuineness to love and put your kids first and more than anything be persistent with dhs ,pollies etc.Also make sure you are absolutely a great father because you will be under a huge microscope, which although hard ,i can understand given that piece of shit who threw his daughter of the west gate bridge.No real man or father would ever do this .I have been on both sides of the fence and been tested to the limits and beyond so i can speak from experience.I love my son more than anything and he has a great life with me which he thrives on.GOOD luck to the GOOD dads !!
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Craig Reply:
May 8th, 2011 at 5:16 pm
Exactly Damo
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Jaise Reply:
May 8th, 2011 at 5:59 pm
as a matter of interest. what has been so bad that the mother cannot get access to the children unless supervised. I can understand her feelings as being prevented from seeing your children is the most devistating thing that could ever happen. I had to volunteer on 2 separate periods of time to see my 4th child and hated every second of the false environment (Staff were brilliant btw and that is not my gripe). Sometimes and I am not suggesting it is correct in this case, parents just use technical games in court leaving the magistrate to make decisions that are clearly unjust but cover the ‘legalities’ End result?? children missing out on both parents, wether it be mum or dad. This nonesense of equal rights works both ways and games can be played both ways and both ways hurt the kids.
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Craig Reply:
May 8th, 2011 at 11:33 pm
I accepted shared care 50% because my two Girls had been taken from me altogether with false allegations, I went from being told I was unfit to being allowed half access, why wouldn’t I accept knowing the system is against men ? Now I am fighting for full access/rights, and sometimes it isn’t so much what the Mother does that’s so wrong, it’s how to prove it to the Family Law Court System
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Craig Reply:
May 8th, 2011 at 11:37 pm
Just so you know, my Eldest has lived with me for years and never been formally challenged, the whole thing is hypocritical
B Reply:
May 12th, 2011 at 6:46 pm
Jaise
Difference is, the courts favour the Women. So you must have definatly done something bad.
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Craig Reply:
May 13th, 2011 at 8:08 pm
B I dont agree with you, unless you have evidence ?
in a federal mad prder meeting today i said, if what my ex had doner to me and the kids, had been done by a male, they’de be in gaol or at least the system would have been harsher, the woman agreed
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Jaise Reply:
May 2nd, 2011 at 2:55 am
that is precisely what is wrong. the courts activiely admit that the system is not fair on males and yet it continues to allow women to treat children like they are possessions and not the flesh and blood of both parties
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In my case, shared parenting has been a good thing, only to allow the courts/legal system to avoid embarrassment, and I accepted it, only because the more time I got with my Girls, the more I knew I could protect them and make them happy, shared parenting isn’t the only answer, having kids safe and happy is
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dave aldridge. Reply:
May 5th, 2011 at 11:18 pm
In my case shared parenting would have achieved nothing for my daughter. Her mother had already done a first class job of destroying her life already during the course of the 3 years she had custody. I do believe however that a significant number of children would be better off with their fathers. I would estimate that perhaps at least 30% of children would fall into this category but less than half that number ever get custody let alone a fair access agreement. Yeah sure we all know that their are deadbeat dads out there and that is all we seem to hear about, but there are now almost just as many deadbeat mums around and the gals are catching up real fast. If the child is better off with the mother well so be it, but there are increasing numbers of children who would be better off with their fathers. Unfortunately only one side [if that is the right word to use] has the ears of our government, our courts and our legislators, and as always children like my own daughter are treated as collateral damage. Why should my daughter have been forced to live in an abusive neglecting and dangerous home for 3 years and be denied the opportunity to reach her full potential just because Joe Blow down the street beats his wife or Bill Smith in the next town has abused his kids.
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4 years ago my then wife and 3 children moved to Australia. Unknown to me she had left a boyfriend in the UK and after 6 months of domestic upset, she took the kids back without my knowledge. In order to protect herself from prosecution under the Hague Convention, (International Child Abduction) she gave evidence of violence to such a degree it was almost laughable if not pituful. Needless to say after months of legal arguement and a trial at the High Court, she was found guilty and the kids were returned. Result of lying, anguish and 1000′s dollars??. Nothing other than she was going to repeat the same in the Australian Courts and drag my kids into court as she did so.result my then 9 year old started vandalising cars and was not being supervised correctly as my wife was so hell bent in screwing me over. Result I gave in and allowed my kids to return to the UK and have regretted that ever since. My 3 kids still love me dearly and they are always saying they want me in their lives.
Now 4 years on I have a second failed marriage with this time a now 2 year old and guess what?? A few weeks after splitting all was good, indeed we had sex a couple of times after the split, until she started a relationship with a “family friend” then got a lawyer involved. Now ….. guess who is a violent wife beater, a monster and doesn’t deserve to have contact with my daughter other than what she dictates when she feels like it. I was forced to do supervised access with my 4th child like I was some abuser and no matter what the idea behind it, it is wrong to force that without some kind of evidence of mis treatment. even after that my daughter is “unavailable” to me whenever my wife decides. The lies that are being told are horrendous and it is so transparently obvious yet the court after 16 months have still to this day not allowed me to have my say in court and my daughter is being treated like a possession as opposed to our child. My wife and her family and new boyfriend tried to force their way into my house, smashed my window of my house and cut my arm with the broken glass. Police moved them on and the next day she got a restraining order against me! I was told that if I did not appeal and took it on a no admissions basis it would be ok as the Family Law would over-ride the state VRO. I believed that!!
I was once thanked by her solicitor for sending a certain text message, which I thought was ok under the Family Law for communicating, but asked not to refer to my kids which I had done thinking being the step mother she may have been interested. Couple of months later the text was reported to the police and I get a criminal record after 18 years in the cops!!
The system sucks and no matter which way you look at it, the equality of the sexes in Family Law Court proceedings is non existent, which in a modern society with all the legislation, reference material, counselling blah blah blah, means absolutely nothing to a father who just wants to care for his daughter on equal terms with her mother. I agree there are some awful parents out there who should have to prove their ability before being allowed to look after children but for goodness sake this is like living in the dark ages.
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zac Reply:
May 1st, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Jason you will know that over 40% of police work is domestic/relationship related. In Victoria 20% of child abuse claims are deemed to be spurious claims made in custody disputes. Source; Inside knowledge. What are the powers that be (Government & Force command) doing about this waste of resourses? Ans. Very little if nothing.
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Craig Reply:
May 2nd, 2011 at 2:54 am
Got a letter from Police Integrity Commission this week about my complaint, it inferred that Police did little despite the vexatious attacks on me, detail are limited as I type but here are some, twice my Gilrs were taken from us without Police saying I didnt have to allow it, so many welfare checks even a Police officer said my ex was using them to harrass me, twice arrested, AVO which I fought and won, high levels of a poison in my system, and another person also suspicious my ex had poisoned them (swept under the carpet) breakins, stalking on the internet and in the street, and that is just some of the things my daughters witnessed and still the courts and school and systems dont or have not yet fully investigated, they judge me but dont look at themselves, I have no convictions of anything against me and my daughters have expressed to the child solicitor the family report guy and via facebook the whole world they want to live with me,still the system fails to allow it, there is evidence they fail to check that they are at risk with thier mother, still they fail to order they live with me, equality in this world suits julia gillards, not fathers
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Craig Reply:
May 2nd, 2011 at 2:57 am
and Fathers and Mothers in the same boat, are restricted from protecting thier Children, and I thought, that’s what it is all about…….. how niave I was
I have saved one daughter from parental alienation and lost another to parental alienation..The latter is 15 roaming the town on my designated weekends, telling me to back-off , (cops say that I can’t pressure my daughter to comply to boundaries) has a boyfriend, her friends are drinking (big problem in our town) and her school grades are below par.
i have been reduced to a spectator parent even though I spent $70k restoring near 50% shared parenting.. What a mess.
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Craig Reply:
May 2nd, 2011 at 2:44 am
hand in there bud
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Craig Reply:
May 2nd, 2011 at 2:44 am
hang in there i meant, sorry
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I cant for the life of me for one moment believe, that even in this PARTIALLY sane society that we live in, would allow a change to such an important part of the law to allow someone to lie in court, make false accusations and defame someone, yet not be held accountable if the allegations are found to be false.
It’s bad enough the bodies of decent people piling higher every day directly caused by the CSA and the people who are held to ransom by this department number in their thousands, but are apparently powerless, toothless and unorganized to be able to do a single thing about it.
If these changes go ahead as they are, we’re one step closer to the mad hatters tea party if we arent there already.
It’s like these idiot law makers wake up in the morning and think to themselves “Hmmmm, whats the dumbest thing I could possibly do today and how many peoples lives could I destroy?”
How come the people of this country seem content to sit idly by and just take injustice when it is dished out…why are we so complacent? Look at England with the Poll Tax!!!!
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So in other words: viva la feminism: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_2LpLhOsc4
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